Week 12- Lime Green

Week 12 News and updates:

• The baby is the size of a lime today. I love limes. I love the color, lime green. It's striking and loud and bright. I love the flavor that limes add to fajitas and candy and Coke. I love sour stuff, and have enjoyed Sour Patch Kids candy when I'm feeling queazy. So it seems appropriate that my baby is compared to this beautiful green citrus fruit.
• I have a horrible cold this week. Started with allergies, and turned into mayhem in my head. Where normally I would just pop a pill, I am having to tread lightly around the medicine cabinet. Allergy meds like Zyrtec and Benedryl are not great for pregnancy so you have to be careful and take only as needed. 
• I made lemon bars last night. These are AMAZING...and I highly recommend this recipe from the Pioneer Woman. They are super easy and one of the best recipes i've ever tried (and i have tried a lot of lemon bars!) I was too tired to eat them by the time they were done. So guess what I had for breakfast? ....well oatmeal first, and then I had dessert! :)
• My next ultra sound is in 10 days! I will be finished with my first trimester by then. WOW time flies! I can't wait to see the baby and how much he or she has grown. After the ultrasound we will make our official announcement to the world! We are excited to let everyone know, especially so that people around me won't think I have just let myself go. I'm a little more rotund than usual these days, so I am ready for people to know why. 
• We are still discussing names. And by discussing I mean, that I am pouring through websites trying to find the perfect one. This is a hard task, and not something we are taking lightly. It is also hard to bring my taste in colorful, artistic, creative things with Richard's very conservative, compassionate, proper taste. 

My sister was greatly concerned about the first set of names we were discussing because they were very ...well... normal. Not like me at all. When my mom told my sister these names, she said, "Christen?! She picked these? These are a decoy, mom. Don't believe her. She is lying to us."

Then she called me and with all the compassion and love and sarcasm in her heart, sat me down (over the phone) and suggested we keep looking. (I think her words were "really? REALLY?! These are terrible!") She explained to me that this was a blank canvas. We needed to not settle, but to find the names that perfectly fit our family... and she said she expected more out of me! :) I just love her and her willingness to ALWAY offer up her "opinion."  After being kindly berrated for 45 minutes, I then explained that she will love the baby, even if we name it Poop. She agreed to that at least. But the pressure is on. (I'm the firstborn you know, so I have to live up to the expectation...can't help it.)

Craving list

I haven't craved anything weird yet. But in case you were wondering what I can't stop noshing on....Here is a list of my most craved prego foods so far:

1. Bacon

2. Peanut Butter

3. Hot dogs- I just thought this was cute...I won't eat Levi. I promise. :)

4. Blueberry pancakes

5. Any kind of cake or brownies

6. Goldfish crackers

7. Chocolate milk

8. Fruit- mostly oranges and apples

9. Cheese

10. Banana pudding...the hot kind from Mary Mac's in downtown Atlanta. I will be getting some of that this weekend when my parents arrive.

Very brown and orange, isn't it? So basically, fat and sugar. Great!

I feel like the rest of my cravings are the result of watching others enjoy something, or seeing a commercial for that food. Paula Deen shows are so much fun to watch right now, but result in a buttery craving. And I used to love to check out Martha Stewart's food website for ideas or inspiration for dinner. Instead I just gape and drool through the slideshows. Speaking of...check out this slideshow !! (Warning: do not watch if you are hungry, pregnant or like breakfast food!)


I was REALLY hoping I would be a skinny pregnant woman...oh well. I'm getting a brownie!

Pregnancy Brain

Today my baby is the size of a FIG! Isn't that cute?

Ok. Let me preface this post by saying...I am a very forgetful person. I know I am, and have always been Growing up, I had to learn to write things down on my notebook or my bathroom mirror or even my hands and arms, just so I would remember important assignments and events. Even with all those, I would lose my notebook, wipe the mirror, or wash my hands. And my moment of remembrance would come as I walked in my classroom door! Eek!

In my college years, I would get halfway to class and realize I didn't have my books. So I would have to run UPHILL all the way, to go get them, only to find that I forgot my keys and couldn't get in the dorm. I never gained weight in college, I lost it! I contribute my weight loss and management to my forgetfulness.

God has blessed me now with a husband who helps me remember. I also put important dates, lists, and assignments in my very efficient phone that beeps at me to remember them. But I still have my moments. And with a bun in the oven, my forgetful brain is greeted with a deluge of hormones and exhaustion.

Now here we go:

Yesterday was Atlanta Passion Play Load In Day. This is wear all the crew and some of the cast take a day off work to come help take props, staging, costumes, etc. off large trucks and set them up backstage as we prepare for the show this weekend. It is a long day that requires lots of energy (and all of my husband's time and attention).

At 10 AM, I drove in with my friend Brandy (because Richard had to be there extra early). When we arrived there were lawn care workers weed eating and making lots of noise. (That's my excuse, ok?) I got out of my car, and just as I was walking away I had this sense that I was forgetting something. I turned around and said "Did I lock the door?" I walked close enough back to the car to see the lock tab was down, shrugged my shoulders and walked inside. I guess I didn't forget anything, and if I did I would remember it later if it was important.

Around 1 PM, my sister in law, Virginia called my phone, 

"Christen. We are in the parking lot and walked past your car. It is still running and the keys are in the ignition!"

"What???"

"Yeah, we walked by it. The door is locked, but it is still running."

Yes. I left it running for 3 hours. But I locked the door. I even double checked. I just missed the important step after putting it in park, and that is turning the car off and taking the keys out. Thankfully I have keyless entry on my door, so I can punch in the code and the door unlocks (I love that feature. I have NEVER locked myself out of my car which I am very capapble of). I am also grateful that there was no immediate or evident damage and I was able to drive it home. My gas tank is almost empty. Hopefully, I will remember to get it refilled today before I go home. Hopefully.

This is going to be a wild ride folks! All I can say is please pray for my future child...

Oh No! I feel good!

I can't help it! Every time something changes I get nervous.

Friday and Saturday, I was miserable. I was moody, exhausted, and very nauseous! On top of which, I had a pounding headache. Sunday morning, I woke up expecting to feel gross, and I felt great instead! I didn't feel sick at all and I had enough energy to sustain me through all of Sunday morning activities which included leading worship with the kids and a very long Atlanta Passion Play rehearsal. Weird.

Then Monday, I came into work, and I felt normal. No nausea...same thing today. And instead of rejoicing I am trying to decide whether or not to call my doctor.

I am so worried! Why do I feel good? Shouldn't I feel terrible until October? Bottom line is, there could be a million reasons as to why I feel this way. Worrying will do nothing for me.

The Bible says:
“Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.  But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Matthew 6:31-34

taking a moment...

I am trying to put together a little more of my story for the past year, and I wanted to explain the purpose for my title "and hope remains." However, I have had to save it and put it away a few times, because it is starting to get vulnerable. I don't like that. I want to come through upbeat and sound like I am doing fine. But the truth is, this past year has been bumpy, and I feel as though my spiritual walk has been less than what I want to portray.

It pains me to say that I was or ever could be angry at God. I'm ashamed at my struggle with my faith sometimes. I work at a church so I feel that I shouldn't struggle with things like this. It should come easy to me, right? (Wrong. Very wrong. It's crazy and often unspiritual working at a church. Hello!) Anyways, I doubt there is anyone with a genuine faith in God that does not go through moments of struggle and doubt. We should; it's part of building a relationship with Him. Jacob, a patriarch of the Bible, struggled...no he wrestled with God (Genesis 23:24-28).

And as painful as moments of tumult can be, I almost want to experience them if it means I will experience a deepening in my relationship and faith. I don't know really how to appropriately explain that except that I'm not asking for fire to rain down on me. But I don't want my faith to be based on happy, feel-good feelings all the time or view God as a genie-like problem fixer. He is God. It is for HIS sake that I live and breathe, and not the other way around.

I was reading an article by Kim Gentes the other day where he was talking about worship leaders and their desire to display the right kind of welcoming, triumphant programming. He said, "While there is strong scriptural precedent for mournful sorrow, frustrated concern, and even languishing anger, very few modern Christian leaders speak on such topics."

How true! There are too few Christian books, music, and sermons that are willing to go into the gutsy part of the Bible that talks about raw emotions and struggle. We like the triumphant, "we win!" stuff  better. So today, as I snack on my goldfish crackers before lunch, I wanted to take a moment to be open first.

I'm nauseous and vulnerable today!

Ta da!

My ultrasound at almost 7 weeks

Nervously not nauseous

So want to be sure to be faithful to updating this. I will try. Promise. I also want to put pictures up to spice it up and make things interesting. So look for that soon and keep me accountable. :)

As soon as I inform anyone (right now just close friends and family) that I am pregnant, they immediately ask two questions: 1. How far along are you? and 2. Are you nauseous?

So I will answer those now. 1. I am 8 weeks and 6 days today. My little one is the size of a grape. (Grape's favorite!) and 2. Not really...!!

Should I be? I have had boughts of exhaustion which lead to feeling groggy. I've felt dizzy. Nausea comes ever so slightly in the morning before I eat. But I'm fine after breakfast. I do try to eat something right away and not wait til I get to work. I did that one day, forgetting, and had to eat my apple I had packed for an afternoon snack RIGHT AWAY.

I had an appointment with the nurse last week, and she asked me if I was experiencing any nausea. I said, "Not yet." She was shocked by my answer and said "that's ok. Be thankful it hasn't happened. Maybe it won't for you." She also told me that most feel nausea when they start the prenatal vitamins or when they are dehydrated.

I have been trying to get pregnant for a year now, so I was already changing my health habits: drinking tons of water, limiting caffeine, and starting prenatals in  September. I'm thankful that these were not huge transitions, and that I was already there...so to speak.

So no major morning sickness...not yet anyways! I guess I am just always going to be thinking the worst is coming. But don't worry. I am armed if it comes. I have Sour Patch Kids candy and Tums in my desk drawer, and a bottle of Mylanta by my nightstand.