Thursday, August 25, 2011

31 weeks- Preparation for Change

So many things are about to happen in our lives...just 9 weeks (or earlier...agh!). We have a list of things to do before Baby (Gurrll) Clark arrives.

  • Decide on a name.... once and for all. 
  • Upon returning from our Baby Shower Weekend in NC, our living room currently looks like we robbed a Babies R Us. We have to find a place for all our baby loot which requires ORGANIZATION. Not my strong suit. (help, Virginia!)
  • Finish painting the nursery. Don't worry. It's almost done. Richard is the MAN!
  • Pick up the crib from our friends who are giving us one. It's so beautiful.
  • Set up and arrange whatever furniture we choose to put in the nursery, decorate, organize, etc.
  • We NEED a recliner, so we have to go find one or shop Craigslist.
  • Sign up and schedule birthing class and hospital tour
  • In addition to writing "thank you" notes, begin to baby proof our condo, and pray, pray, pray, and then add 30 more things that we don't know we need to do yet.
But then there is so much internal and physical stuff that needs to be prepared too:
  • I have to learn to not like sleep for quite some time...and/ or the rest of my life.
  • I have to prepare to transition from being a "working woman" to being a "new mommy"...as natural as that role is, I hear it is not an easy transition.
  • Furthermore, my "work" has been investing in the lives of children for 7 years. I am going to miss leading children in worship, talking to them every week, teaching Biblical principles and sharing Jesus Christ. Basically, a ministry to hundreds is becoming a ministry to one child.
  • My body is about to go through a MAJOR adjustment and stretching and warping. Can I handle it mentally and physically? Will I recover quickly? Will I ever have clothes that fit again?
Our schedule, activities, energy levels, budget, our space...it is all going to change. And I'm thrilled, BUT it's change. A big change that I full recognize is coming yet have absolutely no way to prepare for.

Becoming a blogger has peaked my interest in other bloggers, specifically moms. Someone had posted this earlier, and while I wish I could have more time to bestow such eloquent words...this girl actually has already "been there, done that" so she knows what she's talking about. I won't post the whole thing, but if you want to read it in its entirety, click here.


Motherhood is Application 

by Rachel Jankovic


If I had to pick one word to describe motherhood, I think that word would be “transforming.”
The days of a busy mother are made up of millions of transformations. Dirty children become clean, the hungry child fed, the tired child sleeping. Almost every task a mother performs in the course of a normal day could be considered a transformation. Disorder to order, dirty clothes to clean, unhappy children to peaceful, empty fridge to full. Every day we fight against disorder, filth, starvation, and lawlessness, and some days we might almost succeed. And then, while we sleep, everything unravels and we start again in the morning — transforming.

Days of these little cycles add up and suddenly you see a big transformation. A nursing infant has become a boy on a bicycle, a baby bump has grown into a toddler, and children have been changed into brothers and sisters.

Then there is the kind of transformations that we do — not because we work at it, but because we were created to do it. You eat your lunch, and your body transforms it into nourishment for a baby. Taking something too big for an infant, and still finding a way to feed them with it — with the goal of growing them up to do it themselves.

Pregnancy and nursing are only a small part of a child’s life though — and this cycle is clearly not only a physical one. It is the spiritual cycle of food that is so much more important, and so much less talked about. Christian mothering is a constant cycle of nourishment — both physical and spiritual.

and then later she says...

Mothering is a job that is full of difficult moments. Diapers blow out in stores when you have too much in your cart to just walk out. Sudden carsickness can leave you pulled over on the side of the road wondering just how much can be done with half a bag of wet wipes. You need to take what you believe and apply it to these difficult moments. Does the Bible teach us that God is disgusted by our frailty? That he doesn’t want to carry our burdens? That he doesn’t have the energy to deal with us?

The good news is, you don’t need to have been through some elite mother’s training camp to apply the gospel in your life. You need to believe. Trust God, give thanks. Laugh. Believe — and that will feed your children. Rest in God, and your children will learn to. Extend God’s kindness to you, to them. Forgive them the way God forgave you. You have everything you need to spiritually nourish your children, because you have Christ.

What an amazing comfort to be reminded that I HAVE EVERYTHING I NEED because of Christ in me. He is my HOPE today.


How do you handle change?

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

30 weeks- Non-committal


I can't believe I am 30 weeks! The baby is about 3 pounds, about the size of a cabbage. (why don't think pick more appealing fruits and veggies. Cabbage? Bleh.) Only 10 weeks left....whoa.

I woke up this morning at 2:30 AM because I had to go to the bathroom. Normal. However when I got back in bed all I could think about was the nursery and the bedding I bought the day before at a consignment sale. I tossed and turned for over an hour about CRIB BEDDING! I had decided a couple months ago on  pink and green owl print...but it was a little pricey so I wasn't sure I could get it. And if I pay a lot of money, I want to love it! All this time I have wanted to used the pink and green color combo for something.  I am having a GIRL! This was my time to finally do it, and then I went and bought a mauve, pale pink, and chocolate crib bedding with toille and  beaded tassels. What was I thinking?

I can't commit to a name yet either. It's hard when my husband responds to name ideas with "Yeah, unless we think of something better." The problem is, I believe the "something better" name was one he already turned down. So to me, no name sounds better...I'm just settling. I will suggest a name. Richard will agree that it's "not bad" or "prettier than the last one", and we will share with one or two people a name we are "thinking about". But 2 weeks later, I hate the name. I can't commit. Poor Richard can't keep up. (Pray for him.)

I'm not sure if I am feeling the pressure of motherhood, exhaustion or anxiety, or if this is all hormone related. The combination of all of these is possible too. But it's weird to me how much of a perfectionist I am NOT, and yet I am so worried about regretting my decisions about big and little things all the time. I'm usually so quick to respond or answer questions, and I don't need to take time to analyze and or weigh the outcome. I could always just decide. AND I'm good at giving advice about deciding things. I can give you a cool quote or Bible verse or explain the situation so that you can see the logical and obvious choice. So obviously, I'm having a hard time dealing with the fact of how indecisive I am.

The bedding was a good deal at the consignment sale, and I bought it because I didn't think I could find a better deal. But since I was so bothered by my purchase at 3 in the morning, I decided that I needed to just see if I could try a little harder to find a bedding I liked at a really good deal. And I did. At 7:45 AM I emailed a Craigslist add for a GORGEOUS pink and green nursery bedding set for $30 less than what I paid for the mauve one. AND it includes a diaper stacker and lampshade. Cool! (I might hate it later.)


So...we are going to sell the mauve and brown one on eBay. Anyone interested? :)