30 weeks- Non-committal

I can't believe I am 30 weeks! The baby is about 3 pounds, about the size of a cabbage. (why don't think pick more appealing fruits and veggies. Cabbage? Bleh.) Only 10 weeks left....whoa.

I woke up this morning at 2:30 AM because I had to go to the bathroom. Normal. However when I got back in bed all I could think about was the nursery and the bedding I bought the day before at a consignment sale. I tossed and turned for over an hour about CRIB BEDDING! I had decided a couple months ago on  pink and green owl print...but it was a little pricey so I wasn't sure I could get it. And if I pay a lot of money, I want to love it! All this time I have wanted to used the pink and green color combo for something.  I am having a GIRL! This was my time to finally do it, and then I went and bought a mauve, pale pink, and chocolate crib bedding with toille and  beaded tassels. What was I thinking?

I can't commit to a name yet either. It's hard when my husband responds to name ideas with "Yeah, unless we think of something better." The problem is, I believe the "something better" name was one he already turned down. So to me, no name sounds better...I'm just settling. I will suggest a name. Richard will agree that it's "not bad" or "prettier than the last one", and we will share with one or two people a name we are "thinking about". But 2 weeks later, I hate the name. I can't commit. Poor Richard can't keep up. (Pray for him.)

I'm not sure if I am feeling the pressure of motherhood, exhaustion or anxiety, or if this is all hormone related. The combination of all of these is possible too. But it's weird to me how much of a perfectionist I am NOT, and yet I am so worried about regretting my decisions about big and little things all the time. I'm usually so quick to respond or answer questions, and I don't need to take time to analyze and or weigh the outcome. I could always just decide. AND I'm good at giving advice about deciding things. I can give you a cool quote or Bible verse or explain the situation so that you can see the logical and obvious choice. So obviously, I'm having a hard time dealing with the fact of how indecisive I am.

The bedding was a good deal at the consignment sale, and I bought it because I didn't think I could find a better deal. But since I was so bothered by my purchase at 3 in the morning, I decided that I needed to just see if I could try a little harder to find a bedding I liked at a really good deal. And I did. At 7:45 AM I emailed a Craigslist add for a GORGEOUS pink and green nursery bedding set for $30 less than what I paid for the mauve one. AND it includes a diaper stacker and lampshade. Cool! (I might hate it later.)

So...we are going to sell the mauve and brown one on eBay. Anyone interested? :)